Friday, October 5, 2007

And everyone inside the mechanism is yearning to get out

I sat down to blog tonight and honestly couldn't remember what, if anything, I wrote about last night. So I had to look, and even after looking I couldn't remember writing it at all. This is because I have been experiencing something known in the adult world as a Job. Oh, I have had jobs before. Many, in fact. But my most recent was as a substitute teacher, which was not steady and the work itself didn't seem like work. The part that seemed like work was trying to convince students and teachers alike that I was NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mentioned before that I despise to be called "Sweetie" because (among other things) it sounds like something you would say to a child, and when adults use it with one another it is usually when one is being dense or pitiful. This is just a manifestation of the complex I have about looking like a sixteen year old. So today I got called Sweetie again at work by a girl my own age, and I would have brushed it aside like I usually do if it hadn't been for the Doughnut Man. This morning on the way to school I stopped to get a dougnut at my favorite local shop (called, ironically, Sweetie's Donuts) run for as long as I can remember by a terribly nice man of Asian descent. He must have recognized me at the window because he began chatting with me. "Why aren't you in school?" he asked. I debated with myself: I saw where this was going but should I be confused or just skip straight to annoyance?
I'm in college. I graduate in December.
"Oh! I thought you were in high school! You're not in high school?" he responds.
I'm starting to wish I were still in high school. Ech.
Now that I have this job with a degree of responsibility above and beyond showing up, I am experiencing something that I had forgotten about since returning to college, and that's how little time there is and how little energy I have to use it. So what happened yesterday was basically that I had such a long day and night that I forgot what I had blogged about. Ech.

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