Saturday, September 29, 2007

Validation

Thanks to everyone for the get-well wishes, I am still under the weather, but at least I can breathe out of my nose.

I recently started a new job as Assistant Visual Manager for a department store nearby. Basically that means that the Visual Manager and I keep the store visually appealing to all you little guinea pigs out there, so susceptible as you are to our subliminal suggestions. We put all the displays together, hang signs, merchandise the clothes, make sure all the right things are showing in all the right places so everybody will be hypnotized into buying them. (It doesn't actually work that way, but it's fun to act like it.)
So today I got my first actual paycheck. I had forgotten what they feel like. The last job I held for any appreciable length of time was as a waitress (NEVER AGAIN), so my checks were always less than fifteen dollars or something, and all my take-home was in cash. I had forgotten the power of The Check.
The feel of the envelope in my hand, crisp and official, gave me a rush like the hit off a Sharpie, and even though it probably won't even cover my gas until next payday, I suddenly wanted to, like, open a 401K or see a man about a stock portfolio. This was MONEY I was carrying in my hand, and I had really forgotten the validation that comes from earning it for yourself. I don't like being dependent upon others for my needs but I had forgotten about the high. However small the amount, I carried that check like it was seven digits, baby.

No comments: