Another brick in the wall

So today was Grade Day. The day that the university posts end of semester grades online, the day thousands of twitchy little students park it in front of their monitors in anticipation. Me? I've been in college for seven years, give or take a semester. I had forgotten about the whole thing, having adjusted very quickly to my new empty calendar. Yes, after seven years Grade Day has lost its luster. But this shiny new free time? No illegal substance I know of can make my eyes glaze over with rhapsody like the knowledge that I have NO RESPONSIBILITIES. I truly haven't experienced this feeling since I was 16, because this is the first time since then that I haven't had a job or a class or a houseplant or a credit card bill or a dirty sink staring at me tapping its toes and checking its watch. The only things asking for my attention are the half gallon of ice cream in the freezer and the Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? marathon on channel 119.
So around 3 or 4 this afternoon, with a sticky spoon hanging off my tongue and my head lolling around on the couch cushions, I had a revelation: after giving all this time, money, and energy to education, I had found my true calling not in the pages of Chaucer and Shakespeare, but sitting at the altar of digital cable in my pajamas, licking queso off the pages of Us Weekly.