Stocking stuffer ideas, mustache edition.

A thoughtful reader who seems to know me very well left a comment on my previous Christmas suggestion post, showing me this item:


Moustache, Etsy, $36


I am not lying, I saw this earlier and thought it was funny but moved on. Simply put, it costs too much. My mom would call it a rip-off. The old ladies at Belk would say, "They shorare prouda themselves, ain't they?" But I linked it because it's FUNNY. And I will pay a lot for a laugh. But the idea inspired me. And then I found these:



Mustache Pencils, $14, The Curiosity Shoppe


Yes, I realize that these are also overpriced. But say you like the mustache idea and are looking for a stocking stuffer and you have less than twenty bucks? Ta-freakin-da.

And while we're on the subject, here's another pretty cool find:


Classic mustaches, put on a mug. So fun. And in my experience, you can never have too many mugs. Am I right, people?
Shakespeare's Den, $9.95

My final suggestion here is to go to Amazon or a costume shop and put some fake mustaches in your family's stockings. If your family is anything like mine, they will be wearing them all day long and it'll be great for the pictures. For my mom's last birthday (I won't tell you how old she turned, but let's just say she gets cheaper movie tickets now) as a joke I gave her a party package of grills--you know, the gold inserts that go over your teeth and make you look ghetto fabulous? Everyone thought it was fun and experimented with them, and my brother wore one for much longer than I thought necessary. My point is, have a little fun with it. Throw some fake mustaches in some stockings and see what happens.

22 people, no leftovers.

Ohhhh...

The first component of an Irish Thanksgiving is...
one 18 pound free-range turkey.



The second component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.

The third component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.



The fourth component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.


The fifth component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.



The sixth component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
six pots of tea
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.

The seventh component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
seven crazy siblings
six pots of tea
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.



The eighth component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
eight hours of cooking
seven crazy siblings
six pots of tea
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.

The ninth component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
nine missing chairs
eight hours of cooking
seven crazy siblings
six pots of tea
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.



The tenth component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
ten drinks per person
nine missing chairs
eight hours of cooking
seven crazy siblings
six pots of tea
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.

The eleventh component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
eleven herbs and spices
ten drinks per person
nine missing chairs
eight hours of cooking
seven crazy siblings
six pots of tea
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.



The twelfth component of an Irish Thanksgiving is,
twelve months of rest!
eleven herbs and spices
ten drinks per person
nine missing chairs
eight hours of cooking
seven crazy siblings
six pots of tea
five loads of dishes
four in the morning
three bags of potatoes
two giant tables
and an 18 pound free-range turkey.



And I'd do it again.

Christmas gift idea for only the most fabulous of my readers.

In days long gone by, people used to carry calling cards. These were small cards not unlike a business card used for social networking, printed with the owner's name and possibly their contact information. Ladies would give them to gentlemen looking for their name and address (in order to come calling--hence the name), or to friends they met at social occasions, etc. In the Little House on the Prairie series, Laura Ingalls exchanges cards with Almanzo Wilder when he gives her a carriage ride. (If I remember right.) They were also used to announce someone's presence: say someone stopped by an acquaintance's house and the acquaintance wasn't there. They would leave their calling card (or "visiting card") behind, maybe with a little "sorry I missed you note" on the back. This is a picture of Kaiser Wilhelm's calling card:



Today, they aren't used too much. Some might consider them unnecessary since it's so easy to just punch someone's cell phone number in, but those people have no style. One of these will "evoke a sense of uncommon style and social grace" (Crane's). They ooze class. OOZE IT.

Today, they are used frequently by mommies to exchange information with the other mommies at the park or preschool, or to record play dates, like those nifty little appointment cards the doctor gives you.





$16 for 22 and matching tin case, Etsy



$12 for 30, A Touch of Whimsy Shoppe

What if you're not a yummy mummy? What if you're just plain awesome? Or, like me, so retro you can't resist? Well, you can go the very traditional route:


These are $78 for 50, from Crane's.

Or something more modern and trendy, from Etsy:


$28 for 100, Etsy


These are a great gift for the impeccably cool person, the social butterfly, or the mom on the go. The ones featured on top are also from Etsy.

This is a poem by Irish poet (which happens to be a coincidence; I loved this poet before I ever made my Irish connection) Patrick Kavanagh called "On Raglan Road", and it moves me more than any poem I have ever read. I don't know why. Hope you like it.

On Raglan Road

On Raglan Road on an autumn day I met her first and knew
That her dark hair would weave a snare that I might one day rue;
I saw the danger, yet I walked along the enchanted way,
And I said, let grief be a fallen leaf at the dawning of the day.

On Grafton Street in November we tripped lightly along the ledge
Of the deep ravine where can be seen the worth of passion's pledge,
The Queen of Hearts still making tarts and I not making hay -
O I loved too much and by such and such is happiness thrown away.

I gave her gifts of the mind I gave her the secret sign that's known
To the artists who have known the true gods of sound and stone
And word and tint. I did not stint for I gave her poems to say.
With her own name there and her own dark hair like clouds over fields of May

On a quiet street where old ghosts meet I see her walking now
Away from me so hurriedly my reason must allow
That I had wooed not as I should a creature made of clay -
When the angel woos the clay he'd lose his wings at the dawn of day.


The Dubliners do a song version of this that will bring you to tears without knowing why. It's actually featured in a scene of the movie In Bruges, with Brendan Gleeson, which also happens to be brilliant.

Just for clarification, though I am having a ball with the BEST Christmas gift list EVER! I am still blogging. Under this suggestion is Wednesday's new post, in case you get bored with my materialism and miss it.

Christmas gift idea for the fashion lover/people watcher/wannabe hipster.

Here's another Christmas gift idea for ya. Again, it's a book. This one is for the style lover/photography lover. I think it would appeal to most ladies.



If you've seen Scott Schuman's blog The Sartorialist at least once, you're probably addicted. A self taught photographer and fashion voyeur, he basically stalks people on the street with a unique look or style and takes their picture. In doing so, he has created some of the most beautiful portraits. Though his subjects are always people, the end product is not just a portrait of a person, but a portrait of a place and time as well.

I bought the book when it came out, and I've tried to take pictures of the inside to give you an idea of the variety of looks he captures, but they just look pretty rough, so just try and look past all that.



(Good thing I painted my nails last night huh?! Whew!)


I suppose I would call it a book of style first, but it reads more richly than a fashion spread because these are real people wearing their own clothes, and they don't have to be designer or anything, what's special is how the person wears them.
It's a very plain book, but it's less expensive than most books of photography because it's a small (but thick) paperback.

Available here: The Sartorialist by Scott Shuman, Amazon, $16.50

Be mine.

I have spent the week pining. I have been in the throes of unrequited love. When I was younger, believe it or not, the boys weren't chasing me. Unrequited love was a regular feature of my life until my 20s, and even then some. No love, people, no love.

And I never thought it would happen to me again. I am, after all, MARRIED.

But it has.

The signs:
-moping around the house
-gazing longingly (and sometimes hatefully) at pictures of the loved one
-crying in the shower
-hiccuping
-loss of appetite
-drowning your sorrows in innumerable bottles of wine
-hiccuping

Okay, so everyone knows that I don't need sorrow to enjoy a little wine, and loss of appetite has never ever been a problem for me. Maybe I should rephrase that to say "eats everything in sight without regard to how it would taste together".

So meet my lover. He is rooted in the old ways, like me. Different. Beautiful. Natural. Special. No one else will do. I could go on.



St. Kevin's Cottage. That there is the front. This is the outbuilding, dining room, and kitchen:





DO YOU SEE???
This is what the brochure says:
"A truly charming 19th century 3 bed stone cottage of c. 142 sq mts (c. 1535 sq. ft.) located equidistant between Annamoe and Laragh sitting on approx 1.5 acres. Offering privacy & tranquility this property demands the attention of those seeking an outstanding location in an area of great natural beauty. Immaculately presented & very charming boasting many original and unusual features to present a comfortable, welcoming family home that oozes character and charm. The gardens are well stocked with large lawned areas with the remainder in woodland."

Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

Okay, I'm back. The reason I can't buy this 19th century Irish cottage is because they are asking 695,00 euro for it. That's $1,048,466.23 in US dollars.

I am setting up a PayPal account into which my friends and family can donate gifts to me in increments of $50,000. I have read enough fairy tales to know that dreams do come true.